I spent $700 on my motorcycle saddle and every long ride my butt tells me how cheap that was!

Oh, and by the way, chicks dig guys who ride unicycles right?

We have an annual sales conference and our mascot is a Bulldog. We have a Bulldog suit. They asked if I had any idea how to open the conference and stupidly admitted that I could ride a unicycle. I dressed as "Spike" the Bulldog and rode across the convention center up to the stage! My moment in the limelight!