User Tag List

Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Jokes

  1. #1

    Jokes


    REMOVE AD'S
    My thread got old and deleted, so I'll post it again. I'm not angry, or tired....

  2. #2

    Re: Jokes

    The Scorpion and the Frog

    A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
    scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
    frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
    says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

    The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
    the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
    paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
    but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"

    Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

  3. #3
    amateur video chat
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Status
    Authenticity of surfandsand has been verified!
    Location
    that would be the center of the Pacific
    Age
    62
    Nude pics
    15,729
    My Mood
    Horny
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Re: Jokes

    What the hell, I'll add a short one to your thread.

    What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

    Beat it. We’re closed.

  4. #4

    Re: Jokes

    There once was a singer of old
    Who then broke away from the fold
    He won't give you up
    He won't let you down
    In a word, you have been limerick rolled

  5. #5
    My wife and I were having financial problems, so we decided she could go out and be a hooker just for one night, to make us some extra money. She came home several hours later, her clothes all torn up, make up smeared, her hair looked all out of place and thrashed. I asked her how much money she made, and she said she made 80 dollars and 50 cents. I asked "Who gave you 50 cents?", and she replied "They all did."

    ---------------

    How do you find the blind man at the nudist colony?
    Answer: It aint hard!

    ---------------

    Who is the most popular man at the nudist camp?
    Answer: The guy who can hold a dozen donuts without using his hands.

    Who is the most popular woman at that nudist camp?
    Answer: The girl who can eat the last donut without using her hands.

  6. #6

    Re: Jokes

    First Condom:

    “I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

    ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

    ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

    She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

    I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.
    She fainted.”
    'To seek the sacred river Alph......To walk the caves of ice.....To break my fast on honeydew....And drink the milk of paradise....'

  7. #7

    Re: Jokes

    “My teenage daughter came home in a rage.

    ‘I’ve just done sex education in school today, Dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!’

    I put down my paper: ‘Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.’ ”
    'To seek the sacred river Alph......To walk the caves of ice.....To break my fast on honeydew....And drink the milk of paradise....'

  8. #8

    Re: Jokes

    An American businessman is entertaining some overseas business guests on the golf course.

    The first guest, who is from Italy, tees off and hits a good shot 200 yards down the fairway. As the American businessman knows a small amount of Italian he says: “Buon tiro”, which means “Good shot”. The Italian businessman replies: “Grazie”.

    The second guest, who is from France, tees off and hits a fantastic shot that lands on the green thirty feet from the hole. As the American businessman knows a small amount of French he says: “Tir fantastique”, which means “Fantastic shot”. The French businessman replies: “Merci”.

    The third guest, who is from Japan, tees off and amazingly the ball goes straight in the hole, a hole in one! The American businessman doesn’t know many Japanese words or phrases but when he dated a Japanese girl during his overseas business trips she used to moan when he made love to her and she would shout out “Ura-ana, ura-ana”, and which he repeats to his Japanese guest. The Japanese businessman replies: “What do you mean, wrong hole?”
    'To seek the sacred river Alph......To walk the caves of ice.....To break my fast on honeydew....And drink the milk of paradise....'

  9. #9

    Re: Jokes

    The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

    Mike asks if Mars has a stock-market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.

    “Pretty much the way you do,” responds the Martian.

    Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

    I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen. “Why?” he asks, “What’s the matter?” “Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”

    “No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.

    “Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow…”

    “No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

    “Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

    The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks “Well, was it any good?” “I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?”

    “It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”
    'To seek the sacred river Alph......To walk the caves of ice.....To break my fast on honeydew....And drink the milk of paradise....'

  10. #10

    Re: Jokes

    I overheard a man hitting on my wife in a bar. He was speaking very suggestively, and asked her if she knew what her asshole is doing when she cums. She replied, "Yeah, hes usually golfing."

  11. #11

    Re: Jokes


    REMOVE AD'S
    What is the difference between 5 big black men, and a joke? .... My wife cant take a joke!

 

 

Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum Kelly's Chat Adult Sex Forum
666666666666666666
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.3.0 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2019 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:36 PM.